The Legend of Breakfast Ben

A limerick to my room-mate: Ben Flemming

A funny young fellow named Benny

Always left breakfast dishes so dirty

He swam in his rubbish

And was bit'o selfish

'Til slained by a school of crazed fish-monkeys

You just might ask, O reader: "How did Ben become Breakfast Ben?" 'Tis a long and daunting task; but nevertheless, I shall endeavour to undertake such a necessary task.

At the ripe age of 4 we join our youth, Benjamin, amid an escargot dinner arrangement. Playing with a wooden spoon he had stolen from the kitchen, young and eager Ben ran up and down the aisles...when alas! He ran into the leg of Uncle Bob. Now Bob was the fiercest of all the uncles and instantly demanded recompense: 3 sets of fine breakfast dishes. Alas, such a large demand rendered the Flemming family breakfast-dish-less, and all that had remained was the wooden spoon still gripped in Benjamin's hand. Mr. Flemming, steaming with rage shook his fist towards the heavens and cried out, "You promised!" (for Mr. Flemming had made a pact with Zeus earlier in his life that if Mr. Flemming had offered up his first-born, Zeus would break the curse. Ben, being adopted by Greecian diety would supposed to have had been freed from the evil Flemming curse: breakfast-dish-less-ness).

Now Ben, age 21, demi-god, lives his life in utter scorn against the Lightning King. He wakes up early, grinds his teeth, girds himself like a man, and defies the gods...using as many breakfast dishes as he possibly can. Such a frightening thing half-divinity can be, for Breakfast Ben does not use dishes at a normal human rate; but instead, (let the reader understand) the dishes are seemingly endless.

But little did you know, O reader, legend has it that Breakfast Ben was cursed by the Greecian gods to roam the earth for all eternity, never to rest his head. His toil? Eternal breakfast...with a new set of dishes each meal.