Freedom

Take a look; no, don't cring. Contemplate on it, revel in it:

its signifiance, its message, its raw machismoism.

Whitey tighties - the bain of every young man's childhood up to age 12. By why is this so? Has nature ordained this abomination? Or is this wretched rag a product of Adam's poorly sewn fig leaves?

Do not fear O reader, for I believe that like many existent evils in this world, God has placed this one in particular to teach us all a very crucial lesson: freedom. How? Well reader, please allow me to be so bold has to construe an allegory of utmost insight.

Life in Christ is progressive. Beginning on our spiritual journey, our loving Master allows us, in our depravity, to snap the elastic band of briefs upon ourselves - constraining us, imprisoning us. Little did we know, unlike typical undergarments, these particular ones are so tight that it reddens our skin and imprints its deadly elastic grip into our hips.

Seeing us in our helpless estate, we near the adolescence of our spiritual journey and discover the greater pleasures of life: total freedom, encased not in Hanes; but, in brands of much higher superiority: Joe Boxer....Fruit-of-the-Loom...and the like.

Inebriated we dance in our newfound glory. We learn to breathe. We learn to live.

God, in His Almighty wisdom, has appointed all for a purpose. Whitey tighties, as horrid as they are, serve to display the Maker's salvific plan: slavery unto the Law, but freedom in Christ.